Girlfriend of two years has abused trust by telling her friend that she's not sure about us anymore?

She discovered you are a first cl jerk. You spy on her and "have not been able to give her the space she asked for"?? You started involving her before you were free to do so? Honey, good luck on ever finding anyone. Liar, snoop, what else? Back off now. As far as I can see, only putting your son first shows a tiny bit of character. Work on yourself.