Does the emphasis fall on not seeing the offense in the first place and not taking offense?

Absolutely. I go through life trying to be offended as little as possible, and I believe I live a happier life as a result. It shocks me when people get offended by what I consider to be the most trivial of things. But in this society taking offense has become very common and socially acceptable, whereas being offensive, regardless of whether it was intended, has turned decent people into moral 'criminals' in the eyes of many. In my opinion to take offense where none is obviously meant is the height of rudeness and it disappoints me to see so many people doing so for no other apparent reason than to get on their own self styled moral high horse.